Catastrophic Success

Saddam’s Trial date has been in flux in the last week or so, so I think we should play Rock, Paper, Saddam! in the meantime.

In the first of two “Mister Bixby is going to hell” links, we have Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal which is the rousing tale of young J.C. and his buddy Cliff as they go on wacky adventures and examine what life is like for a young godling and his buddy. I found that link while reading reviews for Judith Christ Of Nazareth, The Gospels Of The Bible, Corrected To Reflect That Christ Was A Woman, Extracted From The Books Of Matthew, Mark, Luke, And John. The title is long enough to tell the tale. Really. Christ was a chick. Named Judith. With a beard? OK. I think this would be hysterical as a gag, for a joke. But no. They are serious about this. The LBI Institute and Billie Shakespeare think it a worthy intellectual exercise to re-write the Gospel’s from a feminist view. Some people have WAY too much time on their hands!

I’d like to be a little serious here for a moment. Apparently, there is a young lady named Katie, who is my age and very pretty, who has been brainwashed by a man almost twice her age, who she idolized as a child. She seems to be under his spell completely, and he seems to have convinced himself that public pronouncements of his love for her can somehow obscure his obvious obsession with her. That in mind, I would like you to visit FreeKatie.net. Maybe you can bring her to her senses.

Finally, under the “Neato! Flying Cars!” Category, we have an “external gill.” Alan Izhar-Bodner, an Israeli man, has invented a device that will allow divers to extract oxygen and dissolved gasses from the water they are swimming in without having to rely on heavy pressurized air tanks. See details here and here.

Happy Friday!

Two more Star Wars related links:

Read and understand why geeks are the way we are. We’re important see. We keep the universes consistent.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. The Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

One more. Missed it in the ThinkBucket.

Someone had some fun at the Democrat’s expense using old film soundclips. Think of Fun with RealAudio from Saturday Night Live and with real film instead of animation. The most inspired section is with Jon Stewart and Madeline Albright, using one of my all-time favorite bits of film dialogue.

The breakdown of who says what is posted by the creator.

Enjoy

I know the Friday’s Funnies aren’t always funny, but it’s really a way for me to share links I find interesting, and/or funny. With that in mind, the ThinkBucket is pretty full this week – that’s the Favorites folder I throw my FF links in or blog-worthy links that need some consideration before posting.

First a couple of Star Wars-related links:

Peter David hosts an interesting and lively discussion of Episode III on his review and he excuses some inconsistencies with some hand-waving as the discussion continues in this post.

This is too much. Too Much. This is juuuuust right. Use this knowledge only for good.

Know any Zombies, Werewolves, Vampires or Monstrous Creations who are “between jobs”? Send them here. You may have to help them with their resume though, reanimated fingers aren’t all that dextrous. If you see a job listing for Bum Lee’s Deanimator tell them to stay away. It is a death trap for Zombies, and a serious time sink for humans. Watch the reload time though, it’s a bit slow.

Last week was E3. G4TV covered it like stink on geek. They were kind enough to put copious amounts of video online for our viewing pleasure. Of special notice is the music video they created to promote their coverage. The short televised version plays immediately on their main E3 coverage page, but check out the FULL-LENGTH VIDEO!!!!.

Need advice on anything? Anything at all? Have a half-formed idea for a first date, don’t know poker, want to know how to buy a classic car or repair your credit? Fine tune your brain. This is one of those great sites like HowStuffWorks.comthat covers damn near everything.

Keyboards. If you are a computer junkie like me, you want to advertise that you are either truly awesome by using Das Keyboard with its precision-weighted key springs and is, by the way, completely blank, or you can proclaim your 1337, ahem, elite status by using the mother of all keyboards, the programmable Kinesis Professional with complimentary foot-switch. A FOOT SWITCH!!! The perfect accessory for any writer … well, Terry Goodkind, at least. Actually, after reviewing those pictures, the perfect accessory for a desk jockey is the desk gearshift. Must HAVE IT!!…

ahem… pardon me, I’m better now.

Anyway, DC Comics has a new look. I like the new logo. I think I’ll miss the old four-star bullet though. DC itself has been burning up the charts with its major event (Countdown to Infinite Crisis) leading up it’s “BIGGEST EVENT EVER WHERE EVERYTHING CHANGES AND THE UNIVERSE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN”(tm) event, Infinite Crisis. Those of us who have been anxiously awaiting each yummy morsel of Countdown goodness in the form of The OMAC PROJECT, DAY of VENGEANCE, RANN/THANAGARIAN WAR, and VILLAINS UNITED can get spoiler-riddled coverage and discussion at Crisis Counseling. Ooooooh this is so good!!!! I love DC so much for paying me off for all the years of mediocre stories and characters. First Identity Crisis, now Countdown to Infinite Crisis and the Infinite Crisis this fall… I am such a happy geek.

Well, the ThinkBucket is empty. I’ll let you go now. Have fun and kill Zombies!

Store Wars Meet Cuke Skywalker and Chewbroccoli…
Although, I think Darth Tater hash has been better done

Moveon.org tried to get into the Star Wars Ripoff game too, but I agree with James Taranto, not as well. Frankly, moveon.org should take some of their own advice.

How to determine YOUR Star Wars name:

Your New First Name:
1. Take the first 3 letters of your 1st name.
2. Add the first 2 letters of your last name.

Your New Last Name:
3. Take the first 2 letters of your Mom’s maiden name.
4. Add the first 3 letters of the city you were born in.

Your Star Wars Honorific Title:
1: Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them
2: Add the first three letters of the make or model of your first car
3: Insert the word “of”
4: Tack on the name of the last medication you took.

So Sayeth Paubi Tuel, Ybxthu of Tylenol

Sith has biggest opening day EVER! COOL! Take THAT Shrek 2!

In related news, $627 million of productivity was estimated lost today with Sith Flu.

For the record, I saw the movie, and the geek in me is pleased. As a writer, there were some elements or transitions that could have been played better, or differently, but that is par for the course for the newest trilogy. However, Lucas has money he hasn’t even counted yet, so who am I to talk?

Kids with too much booze, time and not enough sense = this. Also missing is y’know, a fire extinguisher.

Thanks to Mr. Sun, I am now thoroughly disillusioned. Apparently, the Bixby letter written by President Lincoln to a distant ancestor of mine, the story of which has been treasured as known fact for generations, is apparently a matter of some doubt. There is some question about whether Mrs. Bixby actually lost all of her sons (as indicated in the letter and stated in the movie Saving Private Ryan), and whether Lincoln or his secretary John Hay or some unknown forger wrote it. My whole world is in shambles.

Poor Tony Blair. He called an election for his party and lost them 47 seats: 33 to the Tories and 11 to the LibDems (and three to “Other”). It seems that the Iraq War was too much for the Brits and they couldn’t continue to support him and his policies. Of course, it appears his domestic record wasn’t all that grand either. I wonder if the Labour and Conservative Parties can form a strong enough coalition to hold the government together.

The Heritage Foundation has provided a handy-dandy calculator to determine what your likely Personal Account will contain when you retire based on what you and/or your spouse and what your benefit payment will probably be.

A less glowing review for Star Wars than Kevin Smith’s. It’s still positive overall, but it seems more realistic to me that Hayden Christiansen is wooden and has no chemistry with the charismatic and lovely Natalie Portman.

This story reports that the earth is getting brighter, i.e., because we have done such a fantastic job of cleaning the air from the last 300 years of industrial revolutioning that we’ve had. Really cool right? Shouldn’t the Earthy types be all over this? Shouldn’t they just be thrilled? No. In fact, they are bitching that the greater solar penetration is (wait for it…) actually accelerating global warming. So what do you want? Clean air or no global warming… it seems we may not be able to have one withouth the other.

By the way, a ninja pays half my rent. Awesome!!

UPDATE: One more thing, this is my 100th post. Go me.